


Those Patient Hufflepuffs are True

by Draco_sollicitus



Series: Damerey Hogwarts AU [2]
Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Blood, F/M, Harry Potter AU, Hogwarts AU, Hufflepuff Poe, Injury, Mild spoilers for Rebellion's Awakening, Part of Series, Poe POV, Quidditch, and some flashbacks, chapter one can be read by itself, gryffindor rey, mild violence, other chapters are requested POV scenes, tie-in
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-06 17:59:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15891153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draco_sollicitus/pseuds/Draco_sollicitus
Summary: The Captain and Seeker of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, Poe Dameron, has led his players to the Inter-House Championship match, where they'll face Gryffindor to win the cup.Sure, it's mildly distracting to be playing the opposing Seeker who he has a massive crush on, but he has his eye on the prize. Totally. This is in the bag.What could go wrong?





	1. Disaster on the Quidditch Pitch

**Author's Note:**

> This ties in to my current Hogwarts AU WIP, Rey Kenobi and the Rebellion's Awakening. I'm pretty sure it makes sense on its own, but if you haven't read it yet, know that this is part of that fic's backstory. 
> 
> As a warning: one of the character's is grievously injured (Did you think the Weasley twins were kidding when they said it was a deadly game?). Mild description of blood and injury as a result.

The roar from the stadium was undeniable as Poe led his team out, his Firebolt tucked into his shoulder. It was an older model, but it hadn’t failed him yet – and, it had the added bonus of being his mother’s broomstick from her days on the Harpies, given to him on his thirteenth birthday by his beaming, proud father.

“Hell yeah!” Snap shouted, pumping his fist excitedly as they walked out from the locker rooms and down the passageway out to the pitch. Hufflepuff’s supporters – it looked like a solid portion of Ravenclaw was wearing gold and black today – screamed down as they walked past, and Poe lifted his hand in greeting. The spring breeze ruffled his curls, lifting them from  his forehead, and he took a deep steadying breath when they reached the end of the corridor, and finally crossed onto the green.

The entire school was there; and of course they were. This was the Inter-House Final, and Gryffindor and Huffelpuff had been neck and neck all season. Poe breathed in through his nose and back out through his mouth a few times to settle his pounding heart which had sensed his upsurge in adrenaline from the upcoming match.

“Right,” Poe turned and looked at his team one last time. “Fly well, and fly true. Let’s show ‘em what we’re made of, Badgers!”

“Badgers!” The team cheered, crowding in on him for a second, and Poe roared with laughter as six pairs of hands clap him on the back and arms.

“Alright, alright,” Poe shrugged them off. “Game faces.” He turned and walked to where Madam Holdo was waiting with the chest, Gryffindor already lined up and ready to go.

Poe’s team queued up to face them, and they traded handshakes with only slight over-squeezing on both sides. Finn Trooper, the youngest current captain at Hogwarts, grinned at Poe as they shook. “Best of luck, Captain,” he said. “You’re going to need it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Poe laughed. “Good luck to you too, Captain.” He’d just given Trooper a detention not three days ago, but it looked like he wasn’t holding it against him: but _really_ , enchanted fireworks in the boys’ bathroom? If Poe hadn’t choked quite so much trying to hide his laughter when Armitage Hux sprinted out from the bathroom screaming about dragons, Finn and his partner in crime would have spent far more time in detention.

Speaking of Finn’s partner in crime –

Poe turned to the next person in line for Gryffindor. Rey Kenobi regarded him coolly, her hazel eyes flashing with determination. “Dameron,” she said, extending her hand.

“Kenobi,” he answered solemnly. “Good to see you haven’t burned any buildings down today.”

“It’s still pretty early,” Rey countered, and he fought back a smile desperately, trying to maintain a stern façade. Merlin, maybe she’d smile at him, if he only knew what to say. He could count on one hand the number of times he’d made her smile since she first really, truly caught his eye at last year’s Yule Ball, but he treasured each time, the memories kept safe and secure for when he needed them most.

 _Like during your Defense Against the Dark Arts exam?_ His mind taunted him. Poe dismissed the thought while he tried to get his head in the game. So yeah, maybe he’d thought about the time he’d made Rey Kenobi laugh, those four glorious seconds where she didn’t look like she was an inch away from jinxing him into the next century, maybe he’d recalled the sound of her laughter, when he had to produce a Patronus for his DADA exam. Maybe. And maybe, just maybe, he’d had to pretend to be surprised when a corporeal lion burst forth from his wand.

God. He was screwed.

“I want a nice, clean match,” Holdo informed them serenely. She didn’t seem as stern as she did when they played other teams – Gryffindor on the whole was too obsessed with honor to cheat, and Hufflepuff was generally too good-natured to play dirty. All in all, this promised to be a decent match.

Iolo Arana, a good-looking fifth-year with fascinating eyes, nudged Rey and whispered something. She threw her head back and laughed, and yeah, Poe had to be poked viciously by Snap to remember to throw his leg over his broomstick. Holdo released the Snitch, which zipped off, and he and Rey’s heads both snapped to follow it.

“Hey, Kenobi,” Poe said desperately. “Winner has to buy the first round of butterbeer.”

Rey gave him an incredulous look, and he heard Snap mutter, _Oh Jesus, help us._ “Fine,” she said warily. “I hope you brought your money, Dameron.” A small smile played at her mouth, and hell, Poe thought they could call the match right then and there because he already felt like he’d won.

“Focus, Captain,” Snap warned. Holdo released the Bludgers, and then held the Quaffle in her hands.

“Three, two—” She blew her whistle while throwing the Quaffle high in the air, and Poe and his team kicked off, soaring into the air at the same time Gryffindor did. He pulled up higher than the rest of his team, choosing to stay high to keep an eye out for the Snitch.  Rey shot past him towards the other side of the arena, her keen gaze already fixed below. Poe tried not to get too distracted by how natural she looked on the broom, how the scarlet of her uniform complimented her freckled skin, which was turning pink in the cool air.

Poe shook his head to clear it and turned his broom to fly in the opposite direction. It was a decent tactic to keep an eye on the opposing Seeker, but staring at her was really just borderline creepy.

***

He called a timeout an hour into the game, and his team chugged water while they debated a way to clear up the tie. Their Keeper was exhausted from fending off the excellent work put in by Gryffindor’s Chasers, and Poe clapped Yolo on the shoulder reassuringly.

“You’re doing a fine job,” he told the nervous fourth year, who’d been swapped in last second after their normal Keeper had fallen ill with stomach flu. “Seriously. I couldn’t ask for better.”  The team muttered in agreement, some more enthusiastically than others. “Honestly guys, this one’s on me. Give me the best cover you got, keep the score tied, and I’ll get the Snitch. It’s the only way to end this.”

They called one last Hufflepuff cheer before breaking, and Holdo resumed the match. Poe stayed near Rey this time, something made easier because she didn’t seem willing to let him out of her sight, either. _If only that applied outside the pitch,_ he thought wistfully before forcing himself to focus. _Do not let your crush interfere with the Cup,_ he scolded himself. _It’s just a crush. This is the Cup._ Rey certainly wasn’t wasting her time mooning after him, something that only made his heart twinge a little bit, and he soon squashed it down entirely as they zoomed around the pitch together. His team scored a few more goals, and then Gryffindor settled it, getting a few extra Quaffles past Yolo for good measure. “Bollocks,” Poe groaned.

Rey had somehow heard him over the wind, and she laughed wildly, something that made him grin despite himself. Then her laughter cut off, and she dipped unexpectedly. Poe dove to follow her, and saw what she had spotted – a golden flash near the west side of the pitch.

They dove side by side, but they’d started from so high up that the Snitch had plenty of time to move. Poe didn’t take his eyes off of it, and he dragged his broom to the right to keep on track. Rey copied his movement, but because he’d already been on the right, he had a slight advantage, and she cursed loudly when she realized it. Grinning wildly, he surged forward, urging his broom to go _faster, faster_ –

“I hope you’re ready to go to the Three Broomsticks!” Poe shouted, delighted, the roaring of the wind and the crowd in his ears drowning out all other sound, so he entirely missed her response if she had given it. No matter – his hand closed around the Snitch, and he pulled his broom up neatly, controlling his dive for the last five feet so he ended up leaping off his broomstick and jogging to a halt on the grass, the Snitch held aloft.

The crowd was _screaming,_ but something was wrong …

Because they were actual screams, screams of terror. A cold jolt cut through him, and Poe pivoted just in time to see Rey Kenobi fall the final feet to the ground, slowed by a spell cast desperately by Madam Holdo from across the pitch, a spell cast too late to stop the horrible, gut-wrenching _crack_ of her body meeting the ground.

Poe was already sprinting towards her, the Snitch forgotten, his mind trying to comprehend what he had seen, her body limp as it fell, blood streaming from _somewhere_ on her. “Rey?” Poe shouted, stumbling to a halt. He almost retched at the sight of her hair, matted with blood, the bone sticking out of her leg from where she had landed. “Oh shit, Rey—”

He fell to his knees without further thought and ripped his gloves off, feeling desperately for a pulse at her neck. When he didn’t find one, he lowered his head to her chest, and even through the horrible pounding of his own heart in his ears, he knew – there was no heartbeat.

A memory flooded him of a summer when he was ten, when his father pulled a child out of the pond near their house and re-started their heart. Poe had been adamant about learning how to do it too, and he forgot his wand, forgot magic, and leaned into that memory as he opened her mouth and gave two, panicked breaths, Rey’s chest inflating weakly from it, before he started the compressions, counting desperately under his breath. He finished the first round, did the breaths again, and started the compressions once more.

“Dameron, get up—” Holdo had arrived, having sprinted across the pitch. Poe could hear the crowd still, a distant roar in his ears, and he could sense people gathered around them. Holdo was at his shoulder, tugging on it. “ _Dameron,_ use your wand, for God’s sake, you’re not a Muggle—”

Rey choked and then coughed, her terrifyingly pale cheeks regaining some colour as she struggled for breath. Poe sat back all the way and allowed her team to swarm in. They were all shooed off by Holdo, who summoned a stretcher and began the walk up to the castle. Poe spotted the headmistress at the edge of the pitch, and she joined Holdo, golden light already streaming from her wand and covering Rey as they disappeared from sight.

“What the hell was that?” Finn was in Poe’s face, and Poe looked startled. He was about to say he had no idea, he was just trying to help her, when Finn snarled, “Your Beater hit her – illegal, by the way, in case you’d forgotten, you can’t violently block a Seeker from the Snitch. I’d expect that shit from Slytherin, Dameron, but not from you.”

“What?” Poe asked weakly, his brain still reeling from its previous panic. “What are you talking about?”

“Your Beater,” Finn repeated, shaking his head and straightening out his robes. “Hit a Bludger at her when she was right behind you. Hit her in the head. It wasn’t a mistake.” Finn glowered at him and then sneered. “Congratulations, you won.” Nausea overwhelmed him as Finn turned and sprinted from the pitch, bellowing at his team to follow him. Gryffindor’s team didn’t even spare Poe and the Hufflepuffs a second glance as they ran for the castle.

“Hufflepuff wins the Cup,” Connix announced quietly. That was all that was said, and it echoed hollowly in his chest.

Poe shrugged off the kid with the camera trying to snap a picture of the winning captain, and fought the urge to vomit. He needed to change. He needed to shower. He needed to…

His feet dragged him towards the locker room, and the second he walked in, he cast off his robes and chucked them unceremoniously into a pile. It was eerily silent for a team that had just won the tournament.

He stood there in his jersey, sweat still dripping off his face, his heart still hammering from the adrenaline of his final dive, and from the sight of Rey Kenobi, beautiful, funny, _fierce_ Rey Kenobi lying half-dead, broken on the ground, beyond his help –

Edwards was talking to Werther in a low voice, and Poe’s attention zeroed in on him. “Hey,” Snap muttered, grabbing at Poe’s bicep. He ripped it away immediately. “Just – hold on, Dameron, hold up—”

Poe walked up behind the Beater and cleared his throat. The younger boy froze from where he was straightening out his schoolbag and turned to face him. His typically ruddy face was even redder than normal, and Poe felt fury build, slick and dizzying and unfamiliar, in his throat.

_Rey falling, blood already streaming from her head; Rey’s body hitting the ground, audible from ten feet away; Rey Kenobi, eyes closed, face still, bone exposed—_

He didn’t fight his fury. Not this time.

“Did you do that on purpose?” Poe said, dangerously quiet. Edwards shifted his feet and shrugged, looking uncomfortable. “I said—” Poe lurched forward and grabbed the Beater’s robes and hauled him close. The team gasped, and at least one member tried to stop him, but Poe shrugged them off. “ _Did you do that on purpose_?”

He bellowed the question this time, the first time he’d ever raised his voice at his team.

“I didn’t think it would actually hit her,” Edwards protested, face beet red. “I thought it would scare her, that she would swerve out of the way, and you could –”

“Don’t,” Poe growled.

“--grab the Snitch, and I mean, it worked, right?—”

Poe released Edwards violently, and the lanky teen flew backwards and slammed into the lockers behind him.

“No victory is worth that,” Poe snarled, a finger in his face. Edwards stood frozen against the lockers, eyes wide with fear. “No reward, no amount of points, no _Cup_ is worth endangering someone’s life.” He shook his head in disgust.

“You’re off my team.” Poe turned on his heel and stormed away, disregarding Edward’s roar of protest.

And then – “If you didn’t have a hard-on for Kenobi, you wouldn’t care this much.” It was Sarah Williams, their other Beater. Poe turned and stared at her with cold fury on his face.

“Would you look at that?” He said, back to forced, eerie calm. “We’re replacing both Beaters next season. Tell your friends, lads.” And he left without another word.

It didn’t take long for him to figure out where he needed to be. Poe walked up to the castle as quickly as he could, his broomstick loose in his hand.

***

Finn and his team left before Poe did.

“Sorry for getting in your face,” the younger captain mumbled while they sat at Rey’s side. “I just – it was awful, seeing her like that.”

“Awful,” Poe echoed quietly. “Yeah.”

Finn cleared his throat. “We’re going to go get some tea down in the kitchens,” he said. “You’re welcome to join us, we all missed dinner.”

“No.” Poe shook his head and stared at Rey, swathed in blankets, her head wrapped in gauze. “No, I’m going to stay here.”

“She isn’t going to wake up tonight,” Finn pointed out, not unkindly. “And Kalonia’s probably going to kick you out soon.”

“Then she’ll kick me out,” Poe said dully. “But, thanks, Finn.”

“Alright, mate.” Finn squeezed his shoulder and stood. “Come to the Tower later if you’re up for it.” Poe nodded and stared at Rey’s face, shadowed by bruises that he wished he could Banish. “And, uh, for the record – I didn’t know.”

“Didn’t know what?” That got Poe’s attention, and he looked up from Rey to see Finn studying him thoughtfully.

“That you cared this much.” Finn shrugged and walked out of the wing to where his teammates were waiting. The door closed behind them, leaving Poe to untangle his thoughts on his own.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Rey falling. Every time he so much as blinked, he had to contend with the sound of her body hitting the ground. And even though he hadn’t heard it, hadn’t been aware of it until he landed, Poe swore he could remember what the Bludger sounded like as it made contact with her skull.

“Please wake up,” Poe whispered. Her small hand was outside the blanket, and he picked it up for a moment, squeezing it gently. She hadn’t given him permission to, and he felt terrible to do something she’d probably hex him for while awake, but he … he needed it. He needed to feel her still-warm hand (oddly cool from the potion coursing through her system), he needed this reassurance that she was still alive, that she hadn’t –

It wasn’t a crush, Poe realized. He swallowed harshly and blinked tears out of his eyes. He wished with his entire heart that it hadn’t taken a brush with death for him to recognize that he was in love with Rey Kenobi.

“You have to wake up,” Poe said shakily, squeezing her hand one last time. “Who else is going to keep me on my toes?” There wasn’t a response, and Poe released her hand reluctantly and settled back in his chair, preparing for a long night.

***

“Dameron.”

“Professor Organa.” Poe awkwardly stood from the chair he’d been hunched over in for the better part of six hours.

“How is she?” When the stately older woman settled into the other chair at Rey’s side, Poe sat down as well.

“They’re not sure,” Poe admitted. “They gave her Skele-Grow, and Madam Kalonia said it’s a mercy that she’s unconscious for that.” He shuddered, revulsion and sympathy tearing through him at the memory of Rey lying broken on the ground. “But they’ll have to see if her skull heals from where the Bludger hit it, and - she might not ever wake up.” Something dripped into his lap, and Poe noticed that he’d started crying.

Organa conjured up a handkerchief and handed it to him, and Poe accepted it with a grim smile.

“Rey Kenobi is a fighter,” Organa said quietly while Poe wiped his face. “I know you are already aware of this. But she’s a strong, powerful young woman, and I have complete faith that she will recover.”

“How can you be so sure?” He couldn’t keep the sob out of his voice. “P-professor, she was so – you didn’t see her, she was nearly dead when she hit the ground—”

“I know it’s hard to have hope right now,” Organa reached over and grabbed one of Rey’s cold, pale hands. The freckles Poe had always admired stood out in stark relief now, twisting his gut. “But, my dear boy, you must remember. Hope is like the sun – if you only believe in it when you can see it, you’ll never make it through the night.”

Poe nodded, his lip quivering, and the two didn’t speak for another five minutes. But then, he couldn’t hold it back any longer. “I hate hospitals.”

He sounded so very young when he said it; he almost didn’t recognize his own voice.

“Oh.” Organa released a soft noise and stood from her chair. She swept around the bed and came to Poe’s side, where she knelt down and wrapped her arms around him. “Oh, my dear boy.” Poe sobbed, hard, painful, sobs, and clutched Leia’s arm where it pressed against his chest. She let him cry in her arms for an unspoken amount of time, and when he calmed slightly, she stood up and smiled at him.

“I think it’s time you got some rest. In your bed, Dameron,” she insisted, when he opened his mouth to complain. “You have spent entirely too much time in hospitals.” Poe nodded blearily, and rose from his chair. “Come back in the morning.”

“I will,” Poe said, but he didn’t say it to Organa. He stared at Rey’s bruised face and repeated the promise. “I’ll come back.”

***

Poe came back the next morning and spotted the headmistress in the doorway to the infirmary. The older woman was smiling, the early light of day shining through the door from the hospital wing’s large windows. Organa beckoned him closer, and Poe stood in the doorway with her, a bunch of sunflowers loose in his hand.

Rey was sitting upright, looking peaked, but smiling happily at an old man who sat at her bedside, in the chair Poe had occupied for a solid portion of the previous night.

“Who is that?” Poe whispered. He watched as the old man wiped tears from his face and leaned over to kiss Rey’s forehead. Her eyes closed happily, the exhaustion on her face natural and not worrisome.

“Obi Wan Kenobi,” Organa said. Poe stared in shock at the legend come to life – he had seen countless pictures of Kenobi as a young man: handsome, bearded, always laughing and always kind despite the renowned ferocity of his skill and dedication to his career. But here he was, decades removed from the hero he’d been in his youth, a wrinkled, loving grandfather, whose relief to see Rey up and talking was palpable in the sunny room.

Obi Wan Kenobi picked up Rey’s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it, settling back in his chair while she told him something. Whatever she said must have been a joke – and knowing her, it was a joke at her own expense – because the older Kenobi threw his head back and laughed. And Poe could see it. He could see the Auror he had once been, the movie-star-handsome hero, the young man who had, per the rumors, lost the love of his life to the Dark Lord.

“Are you going to go in?” Organa asked, nudging Poe. He looked over at the short woman and shook his head slowly.

“No. No, she’s with her family, and I – I don’t even really know her that well, it would be awkward—”

“You saved her life, Poe,” Organa said gently. “Kalonia told me, if you hadn’t resuscitated her on that field, she wouldn’t have made it up here to the Infirmary.”

“Don’t tell her.” Poe shook his head rapidly. “Don’t – promise me you won’t tell her?”

“I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t want me to.” Organa fixed him with a steely glare, and he shrugged helplessly.

“Because – because we have sort of a – I don’t know, like, a thing going on, where she gives me crap – sorry, Professor, uh – she gives me a hard time, and I give her a hard time, and – I don’t – I don’t want that to change or for her to feel…like she owes me anything.”

 _I love her,_ he wanted to say. _I love her, and if she’s ever going to love me back, it shouldn’t be because she feels like she owes me something._

"Would you give her these?" He said instead, handing the headmistress the bouquet of sunflowers. Leia accepted them, giving him a deep, searching look.

“Oh, you poor thing.” Leia Organa laughed at him kindly – and Poe shrunk, realizing just how obvious his feelings were.

This was going to be _awful._


	2. Yule Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe attends the Yule Ball in his fifth year; it's a general disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of Pining Poe!!!
> 
> This chapter covers the beginning of his crush on Rey, and establishes their general behavior around each other for the next few years of their time at Hogwarts (it takes place about two years prior to the events of Chapter 3 and 4 of "Rey Kenobi and the Rebellion's Awakening")
> 
> Warning: a boy from Beauxbatons says something incredibly rude in French in front of Rey about Organa (non translated, but you can guess), and then he makes a rude, sexual comment to Rey (the graphic part once again in french and only mentioned, not even written) and gets in her personal space without permission.

Poe did not have high hopes for this Yule Ball.

The Triwizard Tournament was already a bit of a mess to begin with. Poe couldn’t imagine the logistics that went into planning something like this, but he didn’t envy the headmistress in the slightest. Just being a prefect at this thing was proving to be exhausting – and the fact that he had to pin the ridiculous badge to his ridiculous dress robes (he and his father had gone shopping specially for it, and as the kind witch at Diagon Alley kept pulling fabric after fabric out, his father had tugged on his sleeve and whispered “Why can’t you rent a tux, again?”) made him feel like he stood out like a sore thumb.

He occupied his time pretty well to put off walking into the ball itself – he volunteered to take first duty out near the hedges and statues on the grounds, breaking up couples here and there. But soon, Jess came to relieve him, and he groaned, smoothing his hair into place.

“Go have fun,” Jess said sternly, placing her hand between his shoulder blade. “Tonight’s for us, too.”

“Uh huh.” Poe shook his head and stomped up towards the doors of the castle, thrown open with bright light streaming out onto the snowy grounds. He passed a large misshapen blob propped up against a wall in the front courtyard.

“Snogging in dark corners might not be the best idea,” Poe pointed out casually. “But don’t forget to at least use protection.” And the couple broke apart quickly, patting their hair and robes back into place as they scurried away. He snorted and kept walking.

 By the time he walked into the Great Hall and saw it transformed into a fairy tale world, complete with glittering icicles hanging from the ceiling, stars casting a magical glow upon the students already gathered on the dance floor, Poe was more than a little grumpy.

To be fair, the main reason for his grumpiness wasn’t perhaps the nature of the ball itself (as ludicrous as it was), but instead the absence of a particular person.

Anthony Muran had gone back to Durmstrang three weeks ago, called home as his father’s health took a turn for the worse. Poe knew that he and Anthony had an expiration date – he lived near polar bears, for Merlin’s sake, and that wasn’t exactly the easiest distance to overcome – but he hadn’t expected it to come this early. But, Poe understood more than most what it meant to care for an ailing parent. So Anthony had left, leaving Poe a little heartsick, if not heartbroken. They swore to write to each other, and Poe was more than happy that he’d shared his first kiss with the handsome boy from the north before he departed, but now he had to attend a ball that he was supposed to go to with someone he liked quite a lot –completely alone.

Poe fought the urge to viciously kick a snowman (that bore an unfortunate resemblance to that creepy Disney thing his niece was always talking about) which turned out to be enchanted: it held out a platter of treats on its little stick arms, its strange coal eyes staring up at Poe.

“I’m good, thanks,” Poe muttered, waving the snowman off. It toddled off in defeat, its shoulders somehow slumped, and Poe felt weirdly guilty. He took a deep breath and let it out, admiring the way it fogged up into crystal glitter in the air – an enchantment by Erso, no doubt – and shook himself thoroughly. No need to be a giant prat and ruin this for anyone else.

He grabbed a goblet of iced pumpkin juice from a banquet table pushed off to the far side of the room and began his rounds. Poe raised his glass good-naturedly to Professor Organa, who was dancing with her husband, Han Solo. The headmistress whirled over capably, and gave him a stern look.

“Do tell me you’re here to have fun, and not just uphold the rules,” she said keenly. Han smirked at him over his wife’s head.

“Sorry, ma’am,” Poe laughed. He gave a one shoulder shrug. “Someone’s got to.”

“Live a little,” Leia urged him. “Plenty of people to dance with, Dameron.” And with that, she waltzed away, back into the crowd.

If the headmistress was telling him to have fun, he probably did need to loosen up a bit. Poe cracked his neck and stayed on the side of the dance floor for the time being. As he neared the back corner of the room, a dark figure caught his eye – Ben Solo was skulking around, as usual. His dress robes were solid black but elegant, and Poe begrudgingly admitted to himself the other Prefect looked nice (not that looking nice fixed being a massive prat). How Leia Organa and Han Solo, two of the nicest people Poe had ever met, had produced _this_ kid, was beyond Poe’s understanding. The two were constantly at each other’s throats the first three years of their schooling, and had only just stopped trying to hex each other last year. Now that they were both in positions of authority, threats of duels at dawn and rude comments didn’t look that great, so Poe had kept his distance and his distrust of the Slytherin.

He drew closer, trying to complete at least one circuit of the entire room before going to find Snap (who was most likely trying to hit on Kare Kun, a pretty Gryffindor in the year below) and saw that the other boy was staring at something on the dance floor. Poe felt his stomach twist slightly at the expression on his face. He looked almost mad, the torchlight glittering in his large eyes. He turned and followed Solo’s line of vision to the crowd of dancing couples.

Poe double checked the trajectory of Ben’s gaze several times: it led to Finn Trooper and a beautiful girl Poe assumed was from Beauxbatons. They were waltzing quite elegantly, and the light from the enchanted, floating candle flickered off the girl’s hair, illuminating strands of red in the thick brown waves that reached below her shoulders; Poe could see flowers woven into it from here, and overall, the effect was very pretty.

 _Was Ben jealous of Finn’s date?_ Poe scowled to himself as he thought about it. Ben and Finn had no love lost between them, but they were usually kept out of fights due to their mutual friendship with Rey Kenobi. Poe didn’t pay that much attention to inter-house drama, but from what Jess had said, Ben had nearly thrown a fit when the two started dating at the beginning of the year. They’d broken up less than two weeks later, their friendship not at all suffering for it (Poe should know, having to bust them for their crimes more than once in the last month alone), and now it looked like Finn was quite happy with his lovely date.

They danced closer to them, about ten feet from Poe, and twenty from Ben. Poe took a sip of pumpkin juice, about to wave at Finn, who, despite being the constant recipient of Poe’s demerits, was generally affable and likable. He promptly choked on his pumpkin juice when the couple did a full revolution, and the beautiful, laughing girl in Finn’s arms now more fully faced Poe.

It was Rey Kenobi. She was wearing a green dress that seemed to float around her, and the flowers embroidered into her skirt matched the ones in her hair. She’d done something with her makeup – _did she wear makeup? Ever?_ Poe searched his memory but came up with nothing – that made her eyes look greener than ever, visible even from this distance, and her cheeks were flushed as she danced and giggled.

He’d never seen her with her hair down, he realized, nor had he ever seen her doing something so…delicate. Gone were her regular trousers and air of general mischief, the smear of dirt that always seemed to be on her hands or her cheek or her shoes, and in their place was something impossibly grand and impossibly stunning.

She was always pretty, he rationalized, but she seemed lighter, happier than normal tonight, especially when Finn raised their clasped hands and spun her in a circle, her skirt flaring out dramatically, revealing her silver shoes.

Poe was staring. He knew he was staring. But he had never really stared at Rey before, and now that he was thinking about it, he couldn’t think of a single reason why not. Just as his mind whispered to him that this was probably bordering on creepy (hadn’t he just judged Ben Solo for staring?), his gut tugged gently and told him that there was nothing more important in the world than committing the picture of Rey Kenobi, dancing and beautiful and happy, to memory.

“Close your mouth, mate.” Poe startled and looked over at Snap, who was grinning at him and holding a plate of cake.

“What are you talking about?” Poe knew that it was hardly the most eloquent way to play off what had just transpired (which felt like the equivalent of getting hit by lightning).

“I’m talking about you trying to catch flies while you gawk at fourth-years.” Snap snorted and took a large bite of his cake as the song ended. Poe saw Rey and Finn bow to each other out of the corner of his eye, and pretended that his heart didn’t thump an extra beat or two at the thought of her walking off the dance floor towards them.

“I’m not gawking,” Poe protested.

“Why not?” Snap smirked and took another bite. “She’s pretty.” Poe spluttered for a solid three seconds, and Snap rolled his eyes at him before raising his voice. “Oi! Kenobi!”

“Yes?”

Poe gave Snap a look that should have been able to kill him before half-turning to smile at her. It felt like he had never smiled before in his life, and if the look of alarm that briefly crossed Rey and Finn’s face was anything to go off of, the smile did not work in the least. He could feel the judgement roiling off of Snap.

“You look really pretty!” Snap said brightly, and Rey blushed slightly and looked down. A finger rammed into Poe’s side, and it took everything he had not to squawk in protest at Snap, who had jabbed him to – to what? Harass him into opening his mouth and admitting he’d stared at her for more than two minutes?

“Thanks,” Rey muttered, unaware of the silent war being waged. “Kare actually helped me get ready.”

“Is that so?” Snap asked. “Well, you look really nice. And she does too, of course.”

Rey smiled widely, and so did Finn.

“She’s over by the punch,” Finn said, jerking his head towards the refreshment table. “You should go say hi.”

“I should?” Snap’s voice was hopeful, and Poe knew that meant he’d escape being nettled for now.

“Definitely,” Finn and Rey said at the same time.

“Wish me luck!” Snap grinned at all of them, clapped Poe on the shoulder, and headed off towards the table and his crush. That left Finn, Rey, and Poe standing there awkwardly, and Rey examined the decorations with extreme intent while Finn raised his eyebrow at Snaps’ retreating back.

“Did you two come together?” Poe blurted out. Finn gave him a strange look, and Rey didn’t even really turn from where she was staring at the enchanted stars.

“We walked here together,” Rey answered. Her face betrayed not a single emotion, and she dropped her chin to smile at a group of international students gathered near the orchestra. “But no, Finn came stag.”

“Rey insists that I’ll find the love of my life tonight,” Finn said.

“And I know I’m right,” Rey said. She waved merrily at a pretty girl from Durmstrang, summoning her towards them. It was Anya, Poe remembered, one of Anthony’s friends. “She’s cute, right?”

“Yeah, really cute,” Finn acknowledged, and Poe muttered an agreement as well. Rey grinned evilly and held her hand out to Anya as she approached.

“My friend here needs to dance with someone,” Rey said grandly, taking Anya’s hand and placing it in Finn’s. “Would you do him the honor?”

“I would love to,” the girl said in a thick Bulgarian accent, having looked Finn up and down and clearly not finding the handsome boy wanting. Finn grinned and headed off with her, winking broadly at Rey and Poe as he joined the dance floor once more.

“You need me to find you a dance partner too, Dameron?” Rey asked, a teasing light in her hazel eyes. Poe coughed but didn’t answer, instead looking out into the crowd.

He frowned, his eyes catching on a lonely looking fourth year from his own house, huddled up on the side of the dance floor looking morose.

“I thought Arnold came with someone,” Poe said out loud. Rey followed his gaze.

“Yeah, he came with Marguerite,” Rey said. “Oh, no.” Poe looked to where she was surreptitiously pointing, and saw the Beauxbatons girl twirling around the room with a boy from her own school. “Poor Arnie.”

Poe sighed in sympathy and looked around to see if there was anything to distract Arnold from his heartbreak. Rey grinned at him though, and said, “See you around, Dameron,” before sweeping off towards the lonely student at the edge of the crowd. Poe watched her extend her hand to Arnold and pull him towards the dancing couples (he shook his head at first, but Rey clearly asked twice, and he smiled bashfully, his round face lighting up, and took her hand). She and Arnold started to dance a somewhat awkward and stilted waltz, but he looked significantly less sad by the time they passed Poe’s position on the side of the room.

“She’s too nice for her own good.” Poe raised his eyebrows to look at his new companion who had just spoken.

Ben Solo stood next to him like an overgrown bat, scowling at Arnold and Rey, who had caught on a bit more to the beat of the song and were moving more smoothly.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Poe argued. “She’s nice, yeah, but it’s not like she’s suffering from it.”

“You don’t know her that well, then,” Ben muttered darkly. “She hates these kinds of things.”

“Oh?” Poe stared up at the tall boy and frowned. “And you know that for sure?”

“Yes.” Ben said it with absolute conviction, and he scoffed low in his throat before glowering at Poe. “And I know that she could do a lot better than _Arnold_ _Smith_.”

“I know she’s her own person,” Poe snapped. “And she can make her own choices.” Ben looked surprised, not irritated, by Poe’s outburst – and it descended quickly into an expression that was utterly smug.

“You should have just asked her to dance,” Ben said before straightening out his robes and cutting through the crowd towards the exit.

“Ass,” Poe muttered, shaking himself slightly. He refused to look back at the dancing students and instead headed over to the refreshment table to see if he could catch up with Snap and Kare.

He couldn’t, as they had successfully made their way to join the dance, but he did bump into Jess, who entered into a lively conversation with him about the usefulness of parchment over laptops before she was snatched away by Paige Tico, a pretty sixth-year who had been obviously pursuing her for the better part of the term. Poe was by himself then when the song ended, but not for long.

“Fancy seeing you here.” Rey was back, and pouring herself a cup of punch. Her skirt was wide enough that it brushed slightly against his leg, and he fought with the confusing, clashing instincts to pull away, and to step in closer.

“Party of the year,” Poe joked back, using the slogan that the social committee had picked and was now emblazoned on posters throughout the room.

“Oh my God, it’s like they didn’t even try,” Rey moaned, shaking her head in disgust. She froze with her hand holding the ladle, and looked at him with mild panic. “Oh crap, tell me you’re not on that committee.”

“I’m not,” Poe reassured her, and Rey relaxed, setting the ladle back down and sipping her punch. She didn’t walk away, and Poe smiled at her expression of relief.

“It’s hard to keep track of what the golden boy of Hogwarts gets up to,” Rey said. She somehow managed to not make the title sound insulting. “Who’s to say you’re not on every committee?”

“I’m not,” Poe said again, and he pretended to rack his brain, squinting up at the ceiling in faux-thought. “I’m not on the social committee for the ball, or the Hogsmeade renovation committee – oh, or the committee to restore the greenhouse—”

“Careful,” Rey warned. “I actually _am_ on that committee.”

“Oops.” But she was grinning, and then she was laughing, and Poe felt like he was flying without even a broomstick to help him.

Once they both had stopped giggling, Poe smiled at his own cup of punch and said, quietly, “That was really nice, what you did for Arnold. Really kind of you.”

When he looked at Rey, she looked distinctly uncomfortable, and he regretted saying anything. “Uh,” she coughed slightly. “Sorry, it’s – I didn’t do it so people would think it was nice. I wasn’t even trying to be kind.” Poe waited patiently for her to explain, because while she had stopped talking, there was something still working in her expression. “I just…he looked lonely. And I know how that feels.”

“I can’t imagine you lonely,” Poe said honestly. “Everyone loves you.”

“Not everyone,” Rey said softly, seriously. There was such an expression of pain on her face suddenly, that Poe wanted to break into the Ministry and steal a Time Turner, reset the clock so he didn’t ever, ever have anything to do with that expression on Rey’s face, ever again. Then, she shook herself, and her usual ornery light returned to her eyes. “I mean, I drive you up the wall all the time, don’t I? You must hate me.”

“I don’t,” Poe said, frowning. Sure, she _did_ drive him up the wall more often than not, but the idea that she’d think he _hated_ her for it? For her endless pranks and diversions, her incredible knack for finding the most trouble and throwing herself into it – no, he didn’t hate her. She was an absolute nightmare sometimes, but – “Rey, I could never hate you.”

Her smile was fragile, and he found himself leaning in when she spoke next. “You say that,” she said. “But I’d find a way.”

Before he could deny it, convince her otherwise, a large boy wearing Beauxbatons colours elbowed between them rudely, mid-conversation with one of his friends.

 “Excuse you,” Poe snapped.

The boy nodded at him. “You’re excused.” He returned to speak fluidly in French to his friend who stood behind him. Poe gave Rey an incredulous look, but she was scowling at the newcomer. Poe caught a couple of the phrases that were similar to Spanish, but Rey’s mouth popped open when the boy said something about _voudrais,_ Organa and –

“Excusez-moi?” Rey said, a snarl in her voice.

“Oh?” The boy turned, his cup half-full, and grinned at his companion, and then down at Rey. “You speak French?”

“Oui,” Rey snapped. “And I would like for you to take that back.” There was barely disguised steel in her voice, and Poe watched her draw herself up to her not inconsiderable height, only a few inches shorter than himself.

“Take it back?” He feigned ignorance and gave her a fake-polite smile. “What would I be taking? Something you could give me perhaps?” He said something else in French that made Rey turn red, and Poe saw her hand twitch towards the side of her dress. _Please don’t hex the international student,_ Poe prayed. _I don’t even know how to handle that. I’ve only had so much training._

“I want you,” Rey said, through gritted teeth. “To apologize for saying that about Professor Organa. And about me.”

The boy laughed obnoxiously, and Poe rankled for Rey, even though he had no idea what the bloke had said. “No, no, no. There is no need. But don’t worry, I’ll show you a good time.” He and his friend both laughed rudely.

“Is that so?” Rey’s eyebrows threatened to disappear into her hairline.

“Of course.” He reached out and pretended to brush some glitter off of Rey’s shoulder, and Poe saw her stiffen at the same time his own hands curled into fists. Whatever he said in French made Rey's face turn an even darker shade of purple. He turned back to the punch bowl and busied himself with filling his glass.

Poe had half a mind to just eject the jackass from the dance, not even fully understanding the situation, but Rey had an odd, saccharine smile on her face.

“Would you hold this for me?” She cooed at Poe, who accepted her drink, blinking in confusion. Rey cracked her neck and tossed her hair over her shoulder before her hand darted up almost too fast too follow, grabbed the boy by the back of the neck, and promptly shoved his head into the punchbowl.

“Take it back,” Rey said calmly while the boy struggled to lift his head.

“What is your problem?” The other student shouted, tugging on Rey’s arm. “He was only joking!”

“Well, I didn’t laugh.” Rey released the boy, and he stood, spluttering. He wiped his face off and shouted something about his own headmaster before storming away.

Poe was still staring at Rey, who had looked like a Valkyrie seeking vengeance as she meted out her justice.

“Rey,” Poe croaked after a second. “Rey, you can’t just – beat up people you don’t like.”

“I didn’t beat him up,” Rey said, rolling her eyes. “You should have heard what he said about Organa, it was absolutely foul.”

“Still,” Poe protested. “I was just going to kick him out, but now – now there’s probably going to be a whole heap of crap that you’ll have to go through, I mean, you attacked another student, from a different school, and a different country, I don’t even know what the protocol is for this—”

“Give me detention,” Rey said. “I don’t really care, Dameron.”

“You shoved his head into the punch bowl,” Poe said, his mind still reeling. “I – I don’t –”

“Be glad I didn’t hex him.” Rey looked angry now. “Seriously, he said _horrible_ things about me and Organa, and you’re more worried about…about what, our reputation?”

“No,” Poe said weakly. “That’s not it at all—”

Professor Organa materialized as though she had Apparated, and she gave Rey an appraising look. “Should I be concerned that the headmaster of Beauxbatons is telling me stories about a Hogwarts student who attempted to drown his Head Boy in a bowl of punch?”

“I’ll make new punch,” Rey offered. Poe stared at her in abject horror, and then over to Leia who – who was _smiling_?

“I bet he deserved it, huh?” Leia raised a brow at Rey. “Come talk to me about it.” Rey shrugged and followed the headmistress away from the refreshment table, but not before throwing Poe a look that was utterly unimpressed.

She returned to the dance not even ten minutes later, and Poe saw Leia patting her on the cheek from across the room. Then, she joined up with Finn and the rest of her friends and chatted with them until midnight – Poe drew near them once, but it didn’t go well. He wanted to tug her elbow, pull her away from her gaggle of friends, and explain that he wasn’t unhappy with her, just worried that she’d gotten herself in trouble, and that he regretted not standing up for her himself -- he’d only been confused about what was happening, and then too thoroughly impressed with how easily Rey handled the situation to really feel the need to step in. But, Rey saw him coming and turned her back on him, tossing her hair out angrily as she said something to Finn.

Her friend put a protective hand on her back and scowled at Poe, and it was as though the fourth year Gryffindors moved as a pack, circling around Rey and entirely blocking her from Poe’s sight. He dragged a hand through his hair and shuffled back to the edge of the dance floor, where he remained until he clock struck midnight and he was finally free to leave and crawl into the comfort of his bed.

Yeah, Poe thought as he pummeled his pillow into shape. He was right to not have high hopes for the Yule Ball. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to put the night out of his mind, but every time he relaxed even for a second, the image of Rey Kenobi, floating in her pretty dress, laughing gently at his side, standing with righteous fury in his eyes, swarmed his vision and tugged at something that felt strangely ancient, deep in the core of his chest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~ thanks for reading <3


	3. Halloween Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe invites Rey to Hufflepuff's annual Halloween party; it doesn't go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the Poe POV of Chapter Two of "Rey Kenobi and the Rebellion's Awakening" 
> 
> Teenage Angst Ahoy

“It’s now or never, Dameron,” Snap said over breakfast on October 28.

“What about at lunch?” Poe asked, muttering into his Weetabix. “Or…or at dinner.”

“Now or never,” Snap repeated, thumping him on the back. “Go ask her before she makes plans with someone else.”

“Guh,” Poe fought the urge to bury his face in his bowl. He looked up for a moment and spotted her across the Great Hall; and of course, a stream of enchanted sunlight shone out of the ceiling and onto Rey Kenobi. She was studying, a roll of parchment in front of her, absolutely oblivious to the quarrels of her friends and to how absolutely beautiful she looked. The universe was taunting him. “…Are you coming with me?”

“Nope!” Snap grinned cheerfully and kicked the bench under Poe. “Up. Go. Now. Ask her out.”

Poe was about to protest, but then Yolo, Werther, and L’ulo took up the chant. “Ask. Her. Out! Ask. Her. Out!”

“Okay!” Poe spluttered, waving a silencing hand at his friends. “Jesus. Okay! Stop it!” A glance over to Gryffindor told him that she hadn’t heard, thankfully. He stood and coughed, his friends still banging the table rhythmically. “Okay, okay, okay,” Poe muttered, more to himself, rubbing his palms on his trousers. They were sweaty. Poe couldn’t really recall a time where his palms were this sweaty. Had they ever even produced sweat before this? Dear God.

“Good luck!” Snap shouted at his retreating back. Poe raised a hand in acknowledgement but didn’t turn around. He cleared his throat compulsively about ten times on the twenty second walk to where Rey was sitting with her friends.

Poe stood across from her at last, and her friends noticed him first. Finn Trooper gave him a strange look, but then a small smile formed – he’d looked over his shoulder and seen the Hufflepuff disaster unfolding behind him, then. Great. Kay Connix was also grinning, and Poe watched as every single Gryffindor within a fifteen foot radius fell silent.

Rey looked up, having noticed the silence, and spotted him. She frowned; this wasn’t off to a great start.

“We weren’t doing anything wrong,” she said, eyes sparking with indignation.

 _I know!_ Poe’s mouth opened slightly to say just that, but then it closed again with his throat. Oh crap. What was he trying to do again? Her hazel eyes didn’t move from his face, even as Finn leaned over and poked her, her brow furrowed, and an adorable, pert nose wrinkled up at him.

 _Adorable. Cute. Pretty. Tell her she’s pretty!_ Poe squashed that instinct quickly. He didn’t want to get hexed. Something tugged at his sleeve.

“Oi. Dameron. Got something to say?” It was Connix. He liked Connix. She was helpful. And nice.

“Yes.” _And we got a full syllable. Mission successful, return to your table. Or dorm room. Or hometown. Really any one of those would work._ It felt like the entirety of the sixth year Gryffindors were staring at him. Poe counted quickly: yeah, no, all of them were staring at him.

“And?” Finn spoke this time, and he gestured, ending at Rey, his eyebrows raised pointedly. “Spit it out, man.” _Wouldn’t that be great?_

“Um.” Speaking had never been this difficult. “It’s almost Halloween.”

“The pumpkins did give me pause,” Rey said. Poe smiled. At least he thought he did. If he could only remember how to smile.

“Hufflepuff always throws a Halloween party,” Poe said, nodding as though he were explaining his thought process. Logically he knew this to be on par with the Titanic or Hindenburg, but at least he was talking now.

“Good for Hufflepuff,” Rey said, a kind smile on her face. That made him feel a little better. “Gryffindor usually just commits some petty misdemeanors and calls it a night.” Rey yelped suddenly – one of her friends must have kicked her. “ _Hey_! He already knew that!” Her friends gave her crap while Poe flailed internally, trying to circle back to his reason for walking over here.

“So, Hufflepuff, Halloween,” Poe felt his face turn bright red. He regretted wearing his thicker sweater today. It had been cool this morning, but now it was roughly the temperature of an inferno in the Great Hall. “You should…come?” _Oh, the floor is interesting. Let’s look at the floor. That’s better than looking at her. Yep._

“What time?” Rey asked, interrupting his self-flagellation. Poe’s head whipped back up, and he stared at her, eyes wide.

“Time?” Poe echoed faintly, his heart remembering how to beat again; now it was pounding..

“Yeah, what time does it start?” Rey stabbed her quill in her ink and gave him a funny look. “If one were to go, when should they get there?”

_Oh! Oh crap –_

“Eight! You should get there at eight!” _It worked? This worked? We could have been – all this time, if I’d just talked to her? That **worked**?_

“Cool, see ya at eight,” Rey said dismissively, picking up her pen again. She didn’t look back up, even when Poe stammered a goodbye and stumbled back to his table.

“And?” Snap asked, grinning at him as he slid back into his seat. “Is she coming?”

Poe picked up his schoolbag and held it in his lap. A smile spread across his face while he gently fiddled with the fastenings. He was still blushing when he nodded – and Snap, Yolo, Werther, and L’ulo screamed in victory. “Shut up!” Poe hissed, looking back over his shoulder. He was still smiling though, and he didn’t stop for at least two days.

***

“What about this?” Poe asked, stepping out into the dorm room. Snap stared at him from where he was flopped down on his four poster bed.

“It’s nice,” Snap said, incredulous. “Just like the last _five_ have been nice.”

“Yeah, but are these pants too tight?” Poe asked, twisting to see the reflection of his back in the mirror. “Do they say _I’m really a pretty okay person_?”

“They’re pants,” Snap said agreeably. “They don’t really say anything. Unless you Charmed them?” Snap leaned forward off the bed and jabbed a finger into Poe’s thigh. It got a yelp out of the Seeker but not much else. “Nope, didn’t think so.”

“Seriously, does it look okay?” Poe had never been this worried about an outfit in his life.

“You should wear the other pair,” Snap said, groaning and slapping a pillow over his face while he talked. His voice was muffled as he said, “You looked fine in everything. Those pants are a little too tight, unless you want Rey to think you’re seducing her. Which you sort of are. But still. Might not be first date vibes.”

“I’m not seducing her,” Poe snapped, cheeks flushing quickly. “That’s not what this is.”

“Mhm.” Snap waved his hand around airily, face still hidden. “Maybe not sexually, dude. But you’ve definitely got ‘Mr. Rey Kenobi’ written all over your notes, you can’t convince me otherwise. You’re seducing her _heart_ , which is way harder to do, and it won’t be done with a pair of pants, so just wear whatever, or go naked, but just be yourself. And take like fifteen calming breaths because you’re even stressing me out.”

Poe did take a deep breath, and he realized that he was feeling a little light-headed. “Sorry,” he said weakly. “I don’t mean to, it’s just, she’s—”

“Special.” Snap sat upright and moved his pillow. “Got it.”

If he were being honest, he’d go for _she might be my soulmate,_ but Snap would probably put him in a headlock for that (and rightfully so, considering he and Rey didn’t know each other that well, but _still,_ Poe had a _feeling_ ). Poe nodded instead, and took the recommended fifteen calming breaths.

The next hour passed in agony, but soon the party was starting, and Poe was arranging the drinks and food and safety precautions, the order and rules of it all a definite, welcome distraction. A little after eight, he found himself talking to Marci over by the fireplace. She’d called him over, and he’d gone, grinning. They hadn’t hooked up since May of last school year – for reasons that were so obvious, Poe winced whenever it crossed his mind – but they’d parted on amicable terms, and Marci was now involved with a sixth year Ravenclaw who was probably much more suited for her sense of humour anyway.

“How’s it going?” Marci asked, audible over the loud music.

“Pretty good,” he answered, sipping his pumpkin juice before smiling with a closed mouth. He swallowed and leaned in to her ear so she could hear him. “You look super nice! What’d you do to your hair? It looks longer.”

“Oh!” Marci patted her thick red hair and beamed. “Jess showed me a straightening spell! It’s not longer at all, just not as curly as usual.”

“You should put it on Instagram!” Poe said, grinning at her. Marci rolled her eyes and laughed.

“Yeah right, like I could get reception out here. That’d be hilarious – _Why were you in the forest, Marci?_ Oh, you know, Professor Organa, had to update my story! Yeah, no thanks!” Poe laughed loudly, and so did she. Marci studied his face and shook her head. “You look way happier than you have all term!”

“Yeah,” Poe grinned sheepishly. “I may have asked Rey to come here tonight, and she said yes.”

“No way!” Marci beamed at him and then looked towards the door. Her smile became a bit more ornery. “Well, speak of the lion—”

Poe looked over, and time froze. Rey Kenobi was standing across the common room, looking a little shy and out of place. Well – she clearly thought she was out of place, her hands clutching a drink, her bottom lip buried between her teeth, but Poe thought to himself that the only reason she _could_ be out of place was because she belonged on a different plane, a higher plane, than all of them. _God, that doesn’t even make sense._

Always pretty, Rey looked particularly beautiful. Her hair was out of its buns, and instead of her school uniform, she wore a daringly short black dress, and Poe swallowed dryly, willing himself not to look too long at her bare legs. It was easy enough to do, considering how badly he wanted to memorize the shy smile she offered him across the room. Poe felt his own face stretch to accommodate what was definitely a crazy grin of his own.

“You came?” He asked, forgetting that there were dozens of feet between them. Rey nodded though, having understood – _soulmates,_ his heart crowed, _definitely, definitely_ –

“Obviously!” She mouthed back, gesturing at her body with an awkward wave. She smiled into her drink before raising her eyes once more to his, and Poe couldn’t hear the soundtrack of the party anymore over his heartbeat. He set his cup down and got ready to perfect his  ‘ _I’m totally cool and totally normal, please date me,_ ” walk across the room.

“Hey.” Marci tugged on his sleeve, and he reluctantly broke eye contact to look at her. She offered him an apologetic smile and leaned up on her toes to whisper in his ear. “Can I talk to you really fast before you’re distracted the rest of the night?” She looked concerned, and even through his elation, sympathy tugged at his gut. He looked over at Rey, his smile dimmed a little, and raised a finger in the air, _Please wait,_ he tried to convey, _please, please wait for me_ –

Rey nodded, and he sighed in relief, gesturing for Marci to follow him somewhere more private. They ended up in the side room, where they’d been before under very different circumstances. “What’s up?” He asked, his voice already hoarse from talking over the noise of the party.

“Nothing,” Marci said, and then winced. “No. Not nothing. Um. Can we get dinner later this week and talk more? I thought we could just…do it now, but you look so happy, and it’s not important, and I really don’t want to waste your time—” She looked terribly upset, and Poe frowned sympathetically.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he said gently, grabbing her shoulder. Marci covered his hand with her own and smiled miserably at him. “If it’s upsetting you, it’s important. You’re my friend, you can tell me.”

“My parents are getting divorced,” Marci admitted, her eyes filling with tears. “It’s – it’s so stupid to care about that, you know? But…my mom just couldn’t get over my dad’s job, and – and –”

“Your dad’s an accountant at Gringott’s,” Poe said carefully, not fully understanding. “He works with goblins, and yeah, that’s kind of unpleasant, but…but he isn’t even a Curse-Breaker, his job is really safe.”

 “She thinks he should be a _regular_ accountant,” Marci said, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. “It’s – it’s stupid, yeah? But…I heard them having a row before I left for the term, and she said she thought his magic crap was _‘cute when they were kids,’_ but she thought he would have grown out of it by now. Called him a cheap magician, a bad example for – for—” Marci’s face crumpled, and Poe’s heart did with it. “And now I don’t even think she – she wants to see _me,_ because I’m a magician too, or whatever, and what if it’s all my fault because my dad _was_ going to retire before I got my letter, but he was so excited to have another witch in the family that he stayed, and—”

“Hey,” Poe held his arms out as her voice grew steadily more hysterical. “Hey, hey, c’mere.” Marci sniffed and shuffled into his embrace. “Your mom does not understand the Wizarding world – we already knew that, right?” Marci nodded, her face buried in the nice shirt he’d picked out specifically to impress a girl, a girl who was waiting for him – no. No, he couldn’t be selfish right now. Poe rested his chin on his friend’s head and continued talking, quietly. “It’s really hard for Muggles to understand our world, and vice versa. But people do _all the time,_ and they make it work. If your mom is saying that kind of thing about your dad, and you, then that’s not okay. You shouldn’t believe it, for a second. She’s probably upset about a whole bunch of other things, but wanted to pin it on something easy, like their basic differences. It’s not your fault. It’s not.” He whispered a few more quiet, reassuring things, and Marci eventually threw her arms around his neck, her small nose pressed against his collarbones, and Poe tightened his grip around her.

“You’re okay,” he whispered, rubbing her back. They held each other for almost a minute, and then Marci stepped away wiping her eyes.

“Merlin, I’m sorry,” she sniffled again and smiled at him. “Jeez – um – we can – we can talk more later, yeah? Go get your girl, don’t worry about me.”

“Are you sure?” Poe asked. _She’s sure,_ the less decent part of his brain argued. _She’s super sure, you heard the lady, go!_ “I can stay with you.”

Marci swatted his arm and then pushed him. “Nope! You can’t use this as an excuse to avoid hitting on Rey Kenobi. Go get her! Go! Seriously, I’ll be fine, I’m just feeling weepy – go!” Poe nodded and wiped a tear that was dangling off her jaw before turning to leave. “And Dameron?” He turned around to smile at her, and saw she was smiling as well. “You’re a really good guy, you know that?”

Poe shrugged and gave her a mock-salute before walking back into the party.

He went to the refreshment table first, but the kid pouring drinks said Rey had already walked off; next, the chairs, but no sign of her there, either. Poe did a lap of the party, and then another, poking his head into random nooks and crannies (Rey did like to explore, a naturally curious witch, and all that), but no luck.

“Where’s Rey?” He asked Snap, nerves twisting in his stomach. His friend shrugged, and then Poe felt oddly nervous. “Did she – did she say anything?” She could have gotten sick, he supposed. Or maybe she went to the bathroom.

“Not much.” Snap looked – guilty? Poe set his drink down again and dragged his hands through his hair, entirely knocking it out of its careful style (the hairstyle he’d spent at least twenty minutes on this afternoon).

Poe did another lap with no success – Rey Kenobi had vanished. He almost felt inclined to search for a glass slipper, or maybe an errant pumpkin. Anxiety roiled – had she been upset by something? Did she think he blew her off?

He locked eyes with Rose Tico, who was holding hands with Finn Trooper – her boyfriend was talking to Yolo, but she was glaring at Poe as though he’d done her (or someone she loved, he thought), great personal harm.

_That can’t be good._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what scene should I do next?\
> 
>  
> 
> thanks for reading!


	4. Happy Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe gives Rey her present, and receives an unexpected one in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is exactly the scene you're thinking of!

“But what if she doesn’t like it?” Poe tried to ignore how badly his hands were shaking as he shrunk the final cactus and levitated it into place in the locket. The front clicked shut, and Poe sealed it with a Charm that would keep the tiny plants alive.

“Don’t be like that, mate.” Snap leaned over and punched him lightly on the arm, leaving his hand in place. “She’ll love it. Might not understand why you’re giving her a present, but she’ll love it.”

“Ugh.” Poe buried his face in his hands and shook his head. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right. She’s going to think I’m completely mad, giving her a present out of nowhere. We…we just sort of became friends, and it’s way too much—”

“Whoa, there,” Snap said quickly, squeezing his arm. “Back up, Dameron. I didn’t say that. Friends give each other presents.” Poe gave another, hopeless groan, to which Snap sighed heavily and patted him on the head, flattening his curls somewhat. That at least inspired a more active response from Poe, who swatted him away and fixed his hair before wrapping the necklace in a pretty scarf he’d found in Hogsmeade, one in Gryffindor colours. “Worst comes to worst, she’ll just think you’re an obsessive, creepy stalker and throw it away before she opens it. No worries.”

Poe stared at Snap in absolute disbelief.

“Kidding,” Snap said. “Kidding, jeez.” He stood and grabbed his duffel, muttering, “Not that Kenobi seems to mind creepy arseholes in her life.”

“That’s not fair,” Poe protested, standing and pulling on his sweatshirt. His hand hovered over his Head Boy badge for a second, but he shook his head and pocketed it instead. Manchester colours wouldn’t go with the badge, he told himself. It had nothing to do with trying to endear himself to the most resistant-to-authority person he’d ever met. “She and Solo have been friends forever.”

“Mhm,” Snap made a face and threw Poe’s duffel at him; he barely caught it, and slung it over his shoulder. “Yep. Sure.” Poe shoved him as they made their way through the common room – Poe stopped to help a red-faced first year cram the last of his shoe collection (did he really need six pairs for two weeks?) into his luggage – and Snap resumed the conversation when they hit the corridor leading to the front hall. “All I’m saying is – there’s no way you’re as creepy as Solo, no matter how much you stare at her.”

“I don’t stare at her,” Poe grumbled, dragging a hand through his hair. He totally stared at her. All the time. He could probably count it as his second favorite hobby, after volunteering with Antilles, based on sheer hours put into it alone.

“You gawk, mate.” Snap wrapped an arm around his shoulders supportively, and Poe didn’t shrug him off. “But, it doesn’t look like you want to murder everyone who comes near her, so it’s not necessarily creepy staring.”

Right. Poe shuddered, thinking about an instance last week where he, Finn, and Rey had bumped into each other in the hallway. Rey had laughed brightly at something Poe had said (he couldn’t even remember what he had said, he could just remember that _he had made Rey Kenobi laugh_ ), and grinning triumphantly, he’d looked down the corridor towards his next classroom (which would, regretfully, take him away from bright laughs and pretty eyes).

He’d seen Ben Solo scowling at him from a dozen yards away, his brow lowered and eyes frightening. Poe opened his mouth to say something, but Solo sneered and walked away, his robes billowing out behind him like the wings of some giant bat. It had been very creepy, it was the only word for it.

They trudged through the snow down to the platform, and Snap scurried off to find Kare, and to lock down a good compartment on the train. Poe hovered anxiously, his eyes searching the gathered classmates – _why hadn’t he looked for her yesterday? Why had he put this off?_ – and then he saw her.

Rey Kenobi was standing by herself, wearing a thick green jumper over jeans, a scarf wound around her elegant neck, and soft, brown mittens covering her hands. The tip of her nose was bright pink from the cold, as were her cheeks, and yeah, Poe was a goner.

He walked up to her, his heart thudding somewhere in the region of his Adam’s apple, and cleared his throat awkwardly. Poe automatically winced – why didn’t he have some sort of opening line, planned? Why was his life like this?

 “Hey,” he said as soon as she turned around. Rey turned, a small smile on her face ( a good sign), and her eyes went to his sweatshirt immediately.

“I wasn’t aware you were a big football fan,” Rey said. And then she winced. Poe startled at that – did she feel nervous around him, too? Was he not alone in this? – and then looked down at his sweatshirt.

“Oh yeah,” he laughed and rubbed his neck. “Huge fan. My dad and I always try to see a match together at least once a year.”

“You’ll want to be careful where you wear that in London.” She smiled at him. Openly. Broadly. Beatifically. _Did I fall on my way down here? Am I in the hospital wing, hallucinating?_ “You might start a brawl.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Poe said easily, fondly recalling that time last year where he’d come out of a match and had to … knock some heads.  

“I don’t believe you,” Rey said. Her hazel eyes were comically wide, and Poe tried not to get too distracted by the snowflakes caught on her eyelashes, or on the fact that they had drifted closer together while talking. He could practically feel her warmth radiating out from her. “You’ve brawled over football?”

 _Keep it cool, keep it light,_ said a voice in his head not unlike Snap’s. “What happens in Liverpool, stays in Liverpool.”

“Poe Dameron, caught up in a fight? That doesn’t sound very…prim or proper.” Rey smirked at him, and rather than get flustered, something in his gut clicked into place; he leaned in and smirked right back.

“What makes you think I’m either? No one said I was perfect, Kenobi.”

The most miraculous thing happened – Rey’s cheeks went from bright pink to bright red, and she giggled. She had never made that noise before, not in front of him, not because of him, and Poe desperately tucked the memory away, this single perfect moment, somewhere safe where he could examine it later when he wasn’t freaking out as much.

“You aren’t perfect? You are aware that’s an anagram of the title you wore for two years?”

Unsure of a proper response to that, and suddenly feeling wrong-footed again, Poe floundered. As though sensing his inability to respond, Rey smiled and said, “Big Christmas plans?”

 “Uh, nah. Me and my dad usually stay up ‘til midnight watching these stupid movies from when he was a kid, and we eat our weight in tamales. Oh, yeah, and then we light off an absolutely ridiculous amount of fireworks. You?”

“That sounds like a marvelous plan,” Rey said kindly, and he smiled at her, trying to block out the image in his mind that had suddenly formed, an image of Rey sitting next to him in front of his dad’s tree, taking a present from his hands and cooing happily, one of his dad’s homemade scarves looped around her neck. “And I’ll be here, obviously. It’s just me and Obi, and he’s out of the country for the next month or so.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that,” Poe said. _Do you need somewhere to go? My dad’s always looking to feed more people, and I’m always looking to…well…_ No. Finish your mission, Dameron. “Crap. Um. Here, I uh,” he pulled his duffel bag to the front of his body and shoved his hand in the front, digging around for her present. “That’s for you.” _And that’s the last time she ever talks to us. Idiot._

“Poe,” Rey said, eyes wide, and cheeks now permanently stained with the pretty blush, it seemed. He realized how close they were standing when a bunch of younger students sprinted towards them and they had to step apart to make room for some of them – and then they both took a step right back in. Poe’s heart was re-lodged in his throat in the effort to not say all the things he was actually thinking. “I – I didn’t get you anything.”

She sounded like she was going to cry, and sure enough, tears were filling her pretty eyes. Poe floundered – this was not his intent. Heat creeped along his neck, and he said, quickly, “That’s fine!” He dragged a hand through his hair. “It’s so fine. It’s like, completely fine. Why would you? I mean – it’s cool.” He coughed and winced, his brain screaming at him to get the hell out of there and jump on the train. Or run into the Forbidden Forest and never come back to Hogwarts. _Yeah. That’s a good option_.

Poe stared at the ground, and the whistle sounded for the final call to board. _Get out of there. Go. She’s beyond creeped out, Snap was right, this was a mistake, you’re an idiot, get on the train and pray two weeks is enough time to control whatever damage you just caused --_

Rey’s hand was warm on his upper arm, but he swore he could feel it burn him, straight to his core. He barely had time to lift his chin before her lips, cold and soft and dry, were on his cheek. 

Rey Kenobi was _kissing_ him. In this close of proximity, he could smell whatever shampoo she used, something floral and intoxicating, and it wrapped around him, knocking his senses nearly completely out.

Poe had been kissed. He’d been kissed many, many times – he’d done far more than kissing. But this was somehow the most important, heart-pounding moment of his life, this single, chaste kiss on a train platform.

Rey stepped away while Poe stared into space, his mind reeling, and he could see her standing, anxiously, her present gripped in her mittened hands. He felt like he’d been snagged by a hippogriff and dropped from a very great height.

 “Oi! Dameron!” His minor panic was broken by the sound of his best friend’s voice. “It’s going to leave without you!”

“Be right there!” He bellowed. His eyes didn’t leave Rey’s face. A ridiculous grin split his face ( _and if she doesn’t know you love her, she definitely does now, Jesus Christ, get us out of here_ ). “Um. Wait to open that,” he said, leaning in to squeeze her hands through her mittens. Rey nodded, her pink lips still slightly parted, her pupils blown wide.

Shit. Shit shit shit – why did he have to notice that? Heat surged in his gut that had nothing to do with the anxiety of being about to miss his train -

“Dameron!” Jess screamed at him while the train roared to life. “Get your arse on this train!”

Rey laughed and blinked, and the spell was somewhat lifted.

“You better go,” she said softly, and Poe nodded, unable to move from her side even though it was a long walk home to Kent. “And, um…Happy Christmas.”

“Happy Christmas, Kenobi.” _Kiss her. Kiss her now._ But no – a friendly kiss on the cheek was not consent or permission for him to yank her to him, to run his hands through her hair and kiss her properly, the way he’d wanted to for years now. He settled for reaching out and tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear, a small strand that had slipped out in front of her face ( _why wasn’t she wearing a hat?_ He realized suddenly, _Why didn’t I buy her a hat? She’s going to get sick. Next time, next present, oh, screw you, Dameron_ ). And, he took the very specific liberty of letting his bare palm rest against her soft cheek, willing some of his warmth into her skin, willing the universe to give her the holiday she deserved.

 _I love you,_ he didn’t say as he turned and sprinted for the train. _I’ve loved you for so long now –_ the words didn’t escape him as he grabbed Snap’s hand and was hauled onto the now-moving locomotive.

 _Please, please give me a chance,_ he didn’t scream from the window when he reached his compartment and immediately went to wave to Rey, now joined by Finn on the platform. She waved back, smiling, and he waved until she couldn’t see him anymore.

He settled back against his seat, his hand on the spot on his cheek her lips had touched – he could still feel the phantom kiss, lingering even now, warming him through and through.

“You’re hopeless, Poe Dameron,” Jess sighed, rolling her eyes and flicking open the newspaper disinterestedly.

“I know,” Poe said, looking out the window, where the castle and the girl he loved were quickly receding. “Trust me. I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What next ?!?!?!


	5. Winter Holiday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Kes Dameron have a very important conversation after an awkward start; Poe returns home from winter holiday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place around Chapters Four and Five of "Rey Kenobi and the Rebellion's Awakening"
> 
> Some WARNINGS for the chapter:
> 
> 1\. It's implied that Poe has a nocturnal emission, which wakes him up. It's completely non-graphic.  
> 2\. Poe and his dad drink hard cider together. Poe's 17, almost 18, and in his house, with a parent, which is legal in England unless I'm very much mistaken. Still: alcohol TW

_A soft but sharp mouth…gentle laughter in his ear…hands tugging on his hair – “you can do better than **that** , Dameron” ...warmth, warmth, warmth, and …_

Poe startled awake, panting slightly. His curls were dampened in the back when he dragged a hand through his hair, and he glanced over at the clock next to his bed. 3:05 a.m. He groaned and shifted slightly under the sheets – and then groaned again. 

Four minutes later, he was sitting on his washing machine in the basement, his face buried in his hands. It was a strange time, not quite night, certainly not morning, and he was feeling dazed and more than a little embarrassed. Under him, the machine churned and rattled in a very non-judgmental way, and Poe drew his knees up to his chin and stared up at the dark night through the small window in their laundry room. “Get it together, Dameron,” he muttered to himself, his cheek on his knee.

The machine gave a particularly loud rattle, and he winced; sure enough, a few seconds later, a light flicked on upstairs, and feet stomped down towards the basement.

“You okay, mijo?” Kes rubbed his eyes and frowned with concern from the landing.

“Yep,” Poe said, cheeks burning as he refused to meet his dad’s eyes. He shifted so his chin was cradled by his knees and stared at his hands. “Nothing to see here.”

“Are you sick?” Kes stumbled down the rest of the stairs and stood rubbing his jaw in front of the laundry.

“Nope,” Poe shook his head. Maybe the ground would swallow him whole now. “Not sick.”

A pause, and then: “Oh. Gotcha.” Poe dared to look at his father, and Kes was smiling kindly at him. “Wanna…” _don’t say talk about it…_ “Go upstairs? We’re awake, might as well have a snack.”

That was definitely a better option. Poe nodded and hopped down from the machine, wincing when his bare feet hit the cold concrete floor of their basement. Kes saw the movement and dug around in the clean laundry pile. A second later, he tossed a warm, woolen pair of socks at Poe, who gratefully caught them and slipped them on before trudging up the stairs after his dad.

He put together a couple sandwiches after Kes dug the ingredients out of the refrigerator, and as he cut them into neat triangles, Kes popped up with two ciders. He cracked one open, setting the still closed one in front of Poe.

“Unless you want the hard stuff?” Kes asked, his brow cocked. Poe shook his head and opened his drink. He still wasn’t very fond of even cider, his notorious sweet tooth getting in the way of his enjoyment of alcohol and its bitterness.

They ate their sandwiches in peaceful silence at the counter, the rattling of the washing machine the only accompaniment on the quiet January night. The figurines of the three kings were set out on the mantelpiece, headed towards the small creche Kes left in front of the window. Snow fell in thick flakes beyond the glass panes, and Poe had a fleeting vision of a similar setting, hundreds of miles north; snow piling into drifts on the grounds of Hogwarts, a girl sitting in the window of her tower, a warm sweater with long sleeves covering her thin hands, arms wrapped around her knees, her hazel eyes gazing skyward, waiting for a glimpse of the moon.

He almost shuddered from the strength of the image, and he did shudder when he imagined the exact same scene, but this time, he was in the window as well, the girl in his arms, leaning against his chest while they watched the snow fall together.

“Look, Poe,” his dad cleared his throat, and Poe looked up at him and fiddled with the label on his cider. “You might not want to, but… _is_ there something you want to talk about?”

 _No,_ a nervous voice shouted inside his mind. _Nope, we’re good_!

Kes Dameron stared at Poe with a patience the boy could only hope to possess one day with his own children, and waited for his son to answer. Poe knew whichever answer he gave, his dad would respect – and he took a moment to think about how he wanted to answer.

“Yeah.” Poe nodded once, gnawing at the inside of his lip. “Yeah, there uh…I guess there is.” The silence wasn’t preemptively filled, and it spread out between them while the right time waited to arrive. “…How did you know?”

Kes, to his credit, didn’t mention how this conversation had started at three a.m. Instead, his eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled at Poe. “You’ve been acting weird all break,” he said. “I think I know you pretty well by now, and normally you aren’t so…distant.”

“Distant?” Poe frowned at his dad, guilt tearing through him. “Crap, I didn’t even realize—”

“Not distant like that,” Kes waved a calming hand, and Poe relaxed slightly on his stool. “No, more like…I can tell your mind is somewhere else when we aren’t talking. You’ve been sighing.” He leaned over and nudged Poe’s arm playfully, a teasing grin on his face. Poe cracked a smile as well, and nodded once in affirmation. “A lot of sighing. Heavy sighing.”

“Got it,” Poe said, hands raised in surrender. Kes chortled and ruffled Poe’s hair affectionately, causing him to swear and swat at his dad. He smoothed his hair back in place – _what, like anyone’s going to see it right now? Idiot._ – “So, I’ve been sighing.”

“Like a girl in a telenovela,” Kes added, and Poe rolled his eyes.

“Right. And that’s it?”

“No.” Kes tilted his head at him and then rubbed his scruff one more time nervously. “You’ve just…you haven’t said a certain…name all break.”

“What?” Poe looked at his dad sharply, and they just sat for a moment. “What does that mean?”

“It means,” Kes sighed and hopped off his stool, going to toss his empty bottle into the recyclable bin. He leaned against the counter and regarded his son for a second. “You haven’t spoken about her all break.”

“Who?” Poe asked, his feet starting to sweat in their socked prison. _Right. That’s why I don’t wear socks to bed._

“Rey Kenobi.” If he’d taken a sip of his cider, Poe would have spat it out. As it were, he stared at his dad in shock. Kes shrugged and gave Poe a Dad Look. “You talk about her all the time, always. ‘ _Rey did this, and then I yelled at her.’ ‘Rey Kenobi is going to give me a heart attack.’ ‘Dad, you wouldn’t believe what Rey did right before we got on the train.’ ‘Dad! I found a grey hair this morning! I’m going to name it after Rey._ ’ Yeah.”

Kes dropped the mimicry of Poe’s voice and shot his son a final look before turning to grab two glasses from the cabinet. He filled them with water and brought them to the counter. “Yeah, I’d say not talking about Rey Kenobi is out of the ordinary for you.”

“Oh.” Poe said miserably. He rested his chin in his hand, and the clock in the sitting room ticked louder and louder – or maybe Poe was just tuning into it more, in an attempt to tune out his spiral of nervous thoughts. “Do I really – do I really complain about her that much?” His stomach churned guiltily. _Did Rey think he thought that badly of her? Did he complain about her a lot? Is that why she always seemed slightly mistrustful of him?_

“Don’t look so sad,” Kes rubbed his shoulder comfortingly, and Poe grabbed his dad’s hand, squeezing it while his heart clenched. “I won’t tell her.” Poe nodded, and they let go of each other. Kes slid a glass of water towards him, and Poe traded his unfinished cider for it. “And it’s not complaining, mijo, anyone with any sense could see that.”

“So what is it, then?” Poe asked, confusion flashing inside him. They had all sounded like complaints, and that was surely what his dad was hinting at –

“I think you could probably tell me,” Kes hedged, lifting an expressive eyebrow at him. “Judging by all the…sighing.”

_Say it. Your dad won’t judge you. Just say it. If you can’t say it out loud, how can you ever say it to her?_

“Things have been…weird…this year,” Poe allowed, and Kes settled back on his stool. “We… She really hated my guts at the beginning of the year, and there were a whole bunch of things that kinda…” he waved his hand around in the air, searching for an eloquent way to phrase the Halloween party, and the time she’d almost fallen to her death from the banister, and the whole Quidditch match thing that still haunted his every nightmare, the sight of her covered in blood and lifeless. “Sucked. They really sucked.”

“And now?” Kes tilted his head at Poe.

“Now she…we’ve become friends,” Poe said carefully. “At least. I think we’re friends. We’re definitely friend _ly._ She still does a lot of ridiculous stuff, and – and I can’t exactly just let her do that kind of crap, especially because it usually involves a threat to her safety or life, but we’re…we’re getting along.” He winced and looked at the counter. “I made her a Christmas present.”

“Oh?” His dad sounded delighted. “Did she like it?”

“Yeah.” Poe’s eyes fluttered shut for a second before he nodded and smiled tentatively at his father. “She really did.” He cleared his throat and took another sip of water. “I gave it to her before I got on the train – she stayed back at Hogwarts – and she kissed me.”

“Alright!” Kes roared and clapped him on the shoulder. “And you didn’t tell me!”

“It was just on the cheek. And I didn’t realize you knew who she was,” Poe muttered.

“Like I said, you talk about her every time I see you,” Kes reminded him, still grinning excitedly. “ _Every_ time. The last few times I’ve picked you up for break, her name has been the first word out of your mouth after _hey, dad._ ”

“Sorry.” Poe winced.

“Don’t be.” Kes shook his head. “So. She kissed you on the cheek, you gave her a present – and now? You’re nervous about what’s going to happen when you get back to school?”

“Yeah.” Poe tugged on his hair. “Yeah, that’s exactly it. Like…what, am I just going to…” he shook his head. “I don’t even know where to start.” He’d been _dreaming_ of his return to Hogwarts, both when he was sleeping, and when he was sitting around his house. Dreaming of finding Rey in the crowd headed to the welcome feast, asking for a kiss and her arms enthusiastically thrown around his neck – he’d wished every day of break to see her, to ask her what she meant when her lips pressed into his cheek that day. He thought about her wearing the locket he’d given her, and he felt warm all the way down to his toes.

“I guess the most important thing is…” Poe trailed off for a second.

“Use a condom?” Kes offered.

“…is tell her I love her,” he said at the same time, and then slapped his dad’s arm. “ _Dad_! Gross!”

Kes howled with laughter and wiped his eyes and then saw Poe’s furious expression. He stilled.

“It’s not funny,” Poe said hotly. “Don’t talk about her like that.”

“Whoa.” Kes blinked and grabbed Poe’s forearm gently. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“I know.” Poe scowled at the counter nonetheless. “It isn’t – it isn’t like that, okay?” He flinched and said, “Okay, so maybe…a little bit like that? But I couldn’t – I’d never _dream_ that – she wouldn’t—” Poe shook his head. “I mean, I’d always…no matter who it was…but…I don’t want to make that assumption of her. Or anyone. She…it’s more than sex.” Poe’s face burned a little at the word, but Kes wasn’t laughing anymore. Instead, he was looking thoughtfully at him. “Way more.”

“Okay.” Kes nodded and finished his glass of water. Silence reigned once more while both Damerons digested what they’d just talked about. After a minute: “So you’ve been weird because you realized you’re in love with the girl you’ve been talking my ear off about for over two years, and your heart hurts because you think you don’t stand a chance—”

“I didn’t say that,” Poe grumbled.

“And now, you’re worried about things being awkward when you get back because when she kissed you, she opened a door to feelings she might not even realize you have, and you’re afraid that if you’re vulnerable and show her you have those feelings, she won’t reciprocate, or she’ll panic and then the friendship you sort of have will fall apart from the fallout? And you value that friendship and don’t want to lose it because it took so long to build?”

“Wow.” Poe stared at his dad in complete and total shock, almost embarrassed at how easily his dad had pieced it together and put words to it. “That’s – that’s completely right, how did you—”

“I’m smart!” Kes said defensively, and Poe stuck his tongue out at him. He returned the gesture, and then nodded at the sitting room. “D’you wanna see what’s on, or try to go back to bed?”

“We’re not going to keep talking about this?” Poe asked warily.

“I thought you looked a little talked out,” Kes laughed. “Is that fair?”

“Yeah,” Poe said. Gratitude for his father coursed through him, no matter how awkwardly this conversation started or went. “Yeah. Definitely fair. Uh, TV?”

“You got it.”

They ended up on the couch, yanking the pillows back and forth until they got comfortable, their feet propped on the single ottoman. Kes yawned dramatically while flipping through the channels; he landed on a baking competition show, and they made a couple flippant remarks from the comfort of their sitting room. Around 4:30, they both grew quiet, and Poe dozed off right around the reveal of who would be voted off that week.

He woke up three hours later, somehow having shifted during his sleep so that his head was in his dad’s lap, resting on a pillow that had been placed there seemingly just for him. Kes slept with his head tilted back on the couch, his mouth open and snoring, and his hand a warm and comforting weight on Poe’s arm. He considered getting up for a second and tip-toeing back to his room, avoid waking up and a repeat of last night’s conversation, but he felt too warm and safe as he was to really want to move.

Instead, he pulled the blanket a little higher over his stomach and fell back asleep. He only had a few more days until he went back to Hogwarts, after all – and he knew he was going to miss his dad when he left.

***

Poe watched as the castle grew closer through the window, just for a moment, and then he adjusted his robes and walked down the corridor, knocking on compartment doors and letting people know they’d be arriving soon.

His stomach fluttered with nerves, and he thought back to the last thing his dad and he had spoken about before he got out of the car.

_“So, what are you going to do?” Kes asked, pulling up near the station._

_“Nothing,” Poe muttered. He shifted his grip on his duffel bag nervously. “Not a thing.” He grew defensive after seeing the look on his dad’s face. “I don’t want to pressure her, and I know she doesn’t feel the same way about me—”_

_“Oh, because you’ve asked her?” Kes put the car in park and stared at Poe in disbelief. “Mijo, I love that you understand not to pressure people, and I love how much you think about consent and equal power – I’m so proud to know that I raised you right in that respect – but…it’s not the same thing as pressure to just tell someone how you feel about them. You’ll never get anywhere if you don’t try, and you’ll regret it. I know you will.” Poe opened his mouth to argue, but Kes shook his head and raised his hand. “Listen. Tell her how you feel. Maybe she feels the same way, or wants to give you a chance, and you can stop moping around about it. Or – and this is just an **or** , it’s not the definite outcome – she tells you she doesn’t feel the same way, and it’s a little awkward. And maybe things won’t get better, and maybe they will – but you won’t press the issue. If she changes her mind, she’ll know where you stand, but you won’t bug her about it because—”_

_“A no isn’t a ‘change my mind,’” Poe repeated his father’s frequent lesson from his childhood. “Got it.”_

_“Mijo—”_

_“No, really, dad, I really, really get it. Thanks.” He opened the door and smiled at him. “That actually helped. Love you.”_

_“I love you too!” And Poe got out of the car and watched his father drive away, his heart pounding in his throat._

He was going to tell her. His dad was absolutely right. If she didn’t feel the same way – he’d respect it and move on, but he couldn’t just…sit here in the land of _what if_ and _maybe_ for any longer. With the way they’d said goodbye, he didn’t think the question of _would you maybe ever feel the same way_ was totally out of left field, and if it was, well, he’d tell her he understood and make sure she never felt any sort of guilt about turning his ass down.

Easy enough.

Poe got off the train and craned his neck before cursing himself. In what _world_ did Rey Kenobi wait for him a train station when she didn’t have to be there?

He watched Rose Tico sprint off the train, hurtling towards a point in the crowd – his hopes lifted for a second, as the Danger Twins of Gryffindor were definitely a matched set – but only Finn Trooper was there to scoop her up in a hug. Shaking himself, he helped a few first years gather their things, and he began the walk back up to the castle, his nerves not abating in the slightest.

Rey was absent from the feast, as well, but he tried not to think too much of it. She could be napping, or studying, or working in a greenhouse – _or avoiding you_ – or just not hungry. He looked over at Gryffindor, where Finn sat with Rose on his left, and Iolo Arana on his right. So, Finn wasn’t expecting her either.

That made him feel a little better.

He didn’t feel better the next morning, when Rey was gone at breakfast too. And that afternoon, where lunch was suspiciously Rey-less. He went through the halls, his eye catching on anyone wearing a gold and scarlet scarf, anyone about his height with long, brown hair, anyone who could be –

But she wasn’t anywhere.

On Tuesday, he was more than a little anxious when things hadn’t changed. He sat down next to Jess at dinner and muttered, “Have you heard anything about Kenobi?”

“Kenobi?” A familiar drawl reached his ears. He looked over and glared at Armitage Hux, who was sitting with his little toadie friends, Ben Solo included. “Did you hear that, Solo? He doesn’t know where Kenobi is.”

The other boy glared at Hux, oddly enough, and then over at Poe. He looked like he was smelling something extremely odious, like manure on the bottom of his stupid, shiny shoes. “She didn’t tell you?” Ben asked in a haughty voice.

“No,” Poe said through gritted teeth. “Tell me what?”

Ben sighed and leaned over, smirking slightly, his wide lips twisted by the expression. “She’s in the hospital wing.” He went back to cutting his veal calmly, and Poe stared at him, almost vibrating from anxiety.

“Want to explain yourself, Solo?” Jess demanded, glaring at the prefect.

Ben put his knife and fork down once more and folded his hands over his plate. “I mean, if she didn’t ask you to visit her, I don’t think—”

“Out with it,” Jess snapped.

“Fine, fine,” Ben shook his head, his long, dark hair flopping over his ears. Poe tried to focus on that detail, his breathing already shallow and panic. “I’ll tell you. Although she probably just wanted people _close_ to her to know: which makes sense, considering she did almost die.”

“What?” Poe breathed, his vision starting to spot. He needed to breathe, he needed to focus. “What do you –”

“I told you everything you need to know,” Ben said, waving a massive hand at Poe like he were a pesky fly. “She’s in the hospital wing, apparently spent most of break in there. Looks absolutely terrible, but she was in good enough spirits when I went to visit –”

Poe stood up from the table quickly, knocking over his goblet of pumpkin juice, the bench staggering backwards.

“Hey!” The sixth year across the table whined, lifting their plates. “Watch where you’re—”

“Go,” Jess said, nodding her head at the doors. “Seriously, Poe, just go, I’ll take your bag to your dorm—”

He took one last look at Ben Solo’s smug face, and then down at Jess’s worried expression before nodding and sprinting for the hospital wing.

He steeled himself as best he could, but nothing could prepare him for the sight of Rey Kenobi, paler than death with circles of bruises under her eyes, sitting in a hospital bed, coughing weakly into a trembling hand, trapped behind a quarantine zone.

It wasn’t until he left the hospital wing a short amount of time later that he realized not only had he failed in his only mission, telling her he loved her, he’d also made the terrible, fatal mistake of yelling at the girl he loved again. _And at this rate, he might never get a chance to fix it, to prove to her how much he really cared about her, why was he being so selfish when she was dying, he should be there for her, he should know what to do, this was just like his mom all over again, Poe standing uselessly, absolutely useless, inútil, at the foot of a hospital bed while someone he loved faded away –_

Poe didn’t sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What should the next scene be? 
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! There's more Poe POV (and a lot more of the Rey Kenobi series in general) if people are interested!


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